At Night

If you have read my post, then you should realise that darling has been home super late for the last few nights. Seem that he has something on everynight. Then where am i suppose to be? Waiting at home? Just now, he messaged to ask me if he can go and watch football later... can or not? Can i say no? I can't. If he wants to go badly and i forbade it, he will sulk at home and show me a black face. Or even worst, next time, he anticipated that i will say no, then he will give me another excuse and even resort to lying to me to get out of the house to watch soccer. It has become a habit of his to go out in the middle of the night either with BK or go for meetings, or meet some of his friends who has problems etc. Sometimes, I wonder if he is telling me the truth. Seems that all his friends need him everytime they are in trouble or stress.. which happens most of the time. By the time he comes back, i would have been in dreamland. So how to feel secure? It is so easy for him to be unfaithful. Trust.. what is trust?? The super thin line .... to cross. Everytime different friends loh. Hey come on, he has already said that he is not that close to his NIE friends... i am a bit wary when mentioning about NIE. Cos the last time round, he also use NIE friends for cover, cos i do not know them well enough to call them up and casually ask if he is with them .... I fell asleep before he comes home not because i feel secure.. it is because i have learnt to be 'bo chap' and leave things to fate... During the course of relationship with him, guess i have learnt to be numb to certain actions of his ... so that i won't be so bothered. I hate to behave like a mad gf that keeps on keeping tabs and being so strict with him. He will feel overwhelmed... and caged. To make sure he has his freedom, 'bo chap' is the word to use at times....