Nov 26, 2005 Raphael

Tears fell down. Wits end. That idiot get baby to call me at 1 plus in the afternoon. Baby's words pierce through my heart... like a sword that is so sharp... that drew blood.... "Mummy, i don't want you anymore. I want Joreen mummy and daddy. " Is it on purpose that he get baby to call to affect my day this way... idiot has trained him well.... tears fell... heart broken. But yet i cannot blame baby at all cos he is still young... a piece of white canvas... drawn by the idiot , confused about the facts... lured by the devil in that idiot .... all his sentences with hidden meaning. Said he don't want to talk to me cos he is eating. Get son to rely messages .... and ask why is he eating so slow... " I don't want to be HUNGRY" This sentence itself with hidden linings of that day when he was late in fetching son... and baby got to go hungry.. cos i don't want to get blamed for letting him eat when idiot is fetching him out for lunch... but yet... idiot has his ways.. of making it seem that i am depriving baby of food intentionally in baby's innocent eyes.... If i give,he will barked ... like seeming that i intentionally let baby eat so that he cannot eat when with him..... As i have said, idiot... always an idiot. Childish in using the son.... naive and innocent is my son .... How i wish my son is old enough to see the flaws... childishness.... despicable ways of that idiot.

Till today... my tears... still fall whenever i remember baby's hurtful words....
but yet, i have to be strong for him.. to return when he see light....