Jan 29, 2006

Played catching with all of them. Left me feeling so exhausted. 3 floors catching is enough to kill me. Ha ha. Didn't know that i was getting old already.

Eve of Chinese New Year

The Face of the Despicable Guy

Jan 28, 2006

Took a cab with Jes to work. 7 pairs of legs and 4 pairs of hands from 9am to 6pm really leaves me totally shacked. After work, went to Uncle CW's for steamboat at Yishun. He came and fetch me from Yishun MRT. Damn.. Steamboat no chilli, difficult to eat. So therefore never eat much. Alot of delicacies too.. scallop.. yummy. Headed down to Chinatown to meet dear. Count down together and really enjoyed myself. He bought a wallet and me a bracelet. Then both of us went separated ways home. He went back to Hougang and me to Jurong. Slept immediately. So tired and shacked. Didn't manage to meet up with Edward and Sylvia as it was too crowded.. yawn.

Thoughts

When your children are grown, what would you like them to remember about you? The lies that my ex told... although i can't control all the memoreis he keeps, but i can be sure to help make the ones that count....

One of the ways to develop good memories for your children is to learn the art of celebrating life.

Life is a Celebration

If an occasion is worth celebrating it is worth celebrating because God made it so. Whether it is birth , life, love, marriage, graduation, dearth, naterional integrity, material plenty, or spiritual salvation that we are celebrating - it is a gift of God. Celebrate in such a way as never to offend the Giver! Eugenia Smith-Durland

Thoughts of the Day

Word of advice to my ex husband: Hypocrisy is not a parent's first duty.

I reached for the photo album and opened it, remembering...... all the times when i was with my son. His innocence in life ..... being taken away by lies fed to him consistently till he will grow up believing it wholeheartedly.

Someday.. he will know... Someday.. Maybe.. Hopefully...

I love you Raphael.... and missing you lots

Jan 27, 2006

After school, went home, changed and immediately came out again to help Jesslyn. 4 pairs of legs and 3 pairs of hands left me totally shack out. Mother came and look for me at Far East Shopping Center and we went and see Raphael.

Jerome confirm did the brain washing. My son told me that daddy said that i have a lot of bf. And daddy carried him when he was a baby and i threw a cup at him and hit daddy. Saying that i don't love mommy, grandma and gong gong. He no longer talk about the fact that i didn't give him food. He left that out completely.... it seems that his brain is replaced with new information.

And i asked him, why did i do that? Did daddy tell you that he hit mommy, slap mommy and throw mommy against the cupboard? He said no. And jerome said, when did i ever do that? And he turn and ask raphael, do you think daddy will hit mommy??? and son said no. He denied everything that he has done. Kept on saying that i was bluffing and daddy didnt ever hit mommy. And he put all the blame on me, thus brain washing son. He left out all the facts of his actions that resulted in my actions.... And he keep on repeating the things he want raphael to remember.... malicious thinking of his has been instil in my son. Police were called in, had a long chat, the police even gave me his private cell phone number. Cos he said that he can see that the son has been brain washed thoroughly ... and there is little that he can do also. And jerome said that he wants to get married to his gf. Who cares? I don't bother. He can go to hell with his dog for all i care. I am only concern about my son well being. And from what i know, mother in law have this kind of thinking as to not to hit raphael incase he run back to me. This kind of thinking will definitely do lots of damage to my baby....

Baby is so innocent. Get brain washed by his one sided malicious thinking. And baby said that all i say was bluffing, he only believes daddy and ah ma. What a joke! Loser didn't mentioned what makes me walk out on him.... him hitting me. And all his unmanly ways. That is what makes me leave. What right does he have to hit me? TWICE.... once while i was in maternity. And mother in law knows it.. but she chose to say.... don't have in front of the police.. .how vicious.... siding that loser blindly. And she still proclaim to be a faithful buddish and of course.. idiot with his baptism... ways.... claiming that he is a christian. I realised that both of them hide behind their beliefs ... and doing evil things... in the name of God..... May the Lord be merciful to them.

Went to Dhobby Ghaut with mother. Met up with dear, dinesh, albert and Leslie. Chatted with Leslie for a long while.... trying to make me see another point of view in regards to that idiot.

Basically he displayed two main approaches that are open to me as of he moment. One, I could choose to continue status quo and carry on going through whatever I have been subjected to over the past few weeks. Of course, there is a high possibility that the emotional baggage may escalate in future. At the end of the day though, I would have met my objectives. Telling conseqences of what could happen to my son would be that because of the preferrential treatment given to him due to my presence by my in-laws would result in him developing undesirable traits from that family and thus resulting in me wasting all my efforts.

Two, I could choose to walk away and spare myself the heartaches and embark on a new life. Easier said than done. Rational? But then again, human's emotions have never been rational. However, there may be the remote possiblity that perhaps, just perhaps my son will be brought up n a much stricter manner, for his good. Hey, he may even resent the treatment and start thinking of where his mum is... hopefully. But the future is not to be foretold, which MIL always like to call back to Thailand and ask... thus giving her the direction to go in life and the choices to make which guarentee a win win situation for her. Bias.... superstitious... their fate is already paved ... if one can tell the future .... there will be no diasaster in the world already.

Jan 27, 2006

CNY celebration 2006. Woke up at 530am and reached school by 7am. Hitch a ride with 3 other colleagues in a cab. No half day. Got to stay till 1pm then can go off. Jaslyn called after more than a year of miscommunication. She asked me to help her with her job. I tried my best and squeeze in the time... so i guess i will help her out from 2pm till 6 plus.. then i will go and see Raphael for a while.... i miss him so much. But i must always be prepared to be rejected ever since he was brain washed.

Jan 26, 2006

Erik's shoes, so pointed and big like Macdonald

The maid came over and clean up the house. Fast job and good too. Reached work at 1220pm. After work, went down to Bugis, beach road to have my hot pot. Got craving. Erik came down and join me after a while then Natalie came down too. Erik sent me to Clarke Quay MRT and i went back. Dear was home before me after his meeting. He gave me a full body massage till i fell asleep... so blissful.

Jan 25, 2006

Me and Pauline in the toilet

Work as usual. Wore my specs as i need it for the night. Took a cab with Janet and fetch dear and headed down to MOS. It was an eye opener with so many theme rooms inside MOS. I am impressed that they can reallly do it up so well. Saw Pauline's brother and friends. Diana also came and joined us. She puked after going to gotham Penthouse for free drinks. Me and dear went back at around 12.15am. Elvin came and fetch us back. Janet left next. And then pauline's brother sent her home at 1.30am. It was good clubbing with dear again. It was good dressing up again for clubbing sessions. Alcohol proves not to be too good for exercise..... ha ha.

Written Warning

After careful consideration of the case against you, the Ministry has decded that you be issued with this written warning.

The case has ended. Now got to start writing new year resolution... to stay clear of unneccessary trouble and to avoid all those 'xiao ren' and 'idiots' in my life.

Jan 24, 2006

Work Work Work. After work, bored to death. Went down to Orchard road. Bought CK Tang soft shell crab to eat. Nice. Met up with BB. She gave me chocolates.. i looked at her with the suspicious look. First time she gave me something out of no reason at all leh. Something must be wrong.... ha ha. She got one for girl girl and so she got one for me also.... Ha ha. And i asked her is it buy one get one free.. ha ha.. so bad of me. I need to go and buy 4D liao. When is BB so nice huh. This is the first time.. ha ha. Went to Bysi. Called up all the outlets for the dress that i want. Bugis has 2 left so i reserved it and dragged BB to go with me. Took bus 7 there. Bought it. YES! Bought sausages and gelato ice cream for me to eat... nice of her. And then we headed back to Orchard to Swensens to have dinner, spagetti, mushrooms, calamari and ice cream again. BB keeps on talking about her N70 sling bag loh. Hey... excuse me... i am there loh.. so rude leh.. keep on talking about N70. Ha ha. Anyway, dear was not very happy that i was not waiting for him.. and didn't ask him out for dinner when he said it directly on the phone. Well.. i guess BB was talking to me and suaning me when he called that i missed the point on what he said. So sad... miscommunication. So got to make up to him when i got home... i miss him so much. I took cab home, call for cab some more $4 surcharge. Wah so expensive.... but at least i reach home earlier to spend time with dear....

My Aim

Actually was working towards the Nokia 6680 or N70. But this proves to be better and stronger. Heard that the program is not very good... so got to wait for reviews on it first before i choke up so much money to buy it...

Hey BB! Can I upgrade??? Can I? Can I? Can I? *excited look*

Jan 23, 2006

Morning remedial. Work. Took cab to CDAC wearing my charles and keith shoes. Came out after tuition at 10pm. Cannot find my shoes anywhere... confirm kena stolen. Outside the tuition center... Gosh. And it is not even a new pair of shoes loh. It is rather old already but still in good condition. In the end, no choice, walked all the way out to the main road bare footed and took a cab home. Now, I have a reason to buy a new pair of shoes ha ha. But i guess not, after hearing what dear said. I have to many pairs of shoes already... he he. Tried to wait up for him... but too tired. He came back at 4am after clubbing at Rav and opening 2 bottles there... Still got strength to exercise... gosh.... half dead already.

Must Get!

Back to MonksHill Sec

The School that brings back so much memories... and the limited edition bears wearing school uniform.



The drinks which are left over at Cable Car... dear would say what a waste of beer... ha ha

Pictures

The dessert that my parents love to eat at Chinatown

Neighbour's dog. Really beautiful.

Jan 22, 2006

Woke up at 9am. Then the whole family headed down to Chinatown to have breakfast and had a walk around there. Bought some decorations. Then we headed home cos daddy needs to work. Mom and i slept in the afternoon for a while. Took a walk around jurong pasa malam for my hair clip. Found a phone for dear for valentine's day. Bought it. Happy. Raining heavily. Took a cab and sent mother home then headed down to town for drinks. 5 beers in total and i drank only 1/4 of a mug. The rest all gone to waste. Headed to Noodles stall at Centerpoint $23.30. Diana came and accompany me. She droved since she just passed her driving. Ended up at Rivervalley to have teh... went to her house to get my hearts. Ended up talking to her mother till 1130pm. So late.

Valuable lessons learnt from the chat. Every adult ... one era older ... all gave the same advice. This shows that i am not wrong in my thinking. What kind of era is this now? Who will stay with a person who is not educated, not hardworking and no money? Of course, don't want lah. Smart woman definitely should and will walked out. Woman do not need a man who is of no use to her. Correct.... So i am right... ha ha. La la la la.... Guess i made the right choice in life this time round in not wasting time and walking out .... even my uncle supported my move. With so much support from elders, how can i crumble over some insignificant uncouth methods?

To hell with the Devil...

Jan 21, 2006

Slept till around 9am. Bathe and changed and met up with parents at clementi to have lunch. Chicken Rice. Took a walk around there. Met up with Rick at Lakeside. Then headed back to parents house. Dad went to work and we played 3 players mahjong. Super fun. I lost the most... actually, i was the only one who lost nearly all my chips. $70 in total. Then Rick gotta run. Gf waiting for him. Dear was supposed to come over since he was not working but he overslept. So me and mother went to Jurong point to take a walk and have dinner ourselves. We had KFC. Then headed back. Reached home at 11pm. Nowadays, the shops closed so late. Daddy came home and all of us retire....

Jan 20, 2006

Had breakfast with both of them. And then they bought back for dear. Both sotong, don't know where to alight and in the end... took the bus 3 times... Anyway, thanks so much to both, they clean, swept and mop the floor.

Went to his house as usual. His car is not around. Called for Raphael a few times. But no reply, after waiting for 10 mins. Some lady came over to the gate speaking in teochew. Saying that they all went out. hmmm....

I don't believe it. Why would mother go out and leave a stranger... although it is a friend alone in the house? So on hindside, i went to the back gate after walking a big round... saw mother behind so took a few photos of her cos she told a lie saying that she is not around. She immediately picked up the phone and called the idiot. The idiot asked,where was i? So she told him that i was behind at the back gate... and taking pictures. And she said..... the lawyer say let her take huh.... so okie.... then apparently she is not happy although that idiot said his lawyer said let me take. So she went around and took the dirty laundry water and flung it at me. I was totally wet through. Of course i yelled and make sure all the neighbours hear how nice she is to pour water on me when i just want to see my son at the allocated time. The police came. Jot dwn all that has happen. And i glanced into the house and saw that she was at the railing looking out and on the phone. No prize for guessing who is on the line.... she got to report to that idiot all the time. He called... see no reason to return call... do not have anything to say to him.... anyway, i tried not to talk to uncouth people nowadays. Waste of time.

Very hungry. Headed to bishan to have a grab for dinner. Took a cab home and bathe....

Baby, i am doing everything i can just to see you... please be with me. I need you raphael.....

You will always be in my prayer.......my baby

Jan 19, 2006

Work as usual. After buying food at NTUC came back and prepare. From 730pm waited till 930pm. Both of them reach home. Waited for 2 hours loh.... sigh. But at least everyone enjoyed the food. Chatted... and had a great catching up .....

Middle of the night 4am, mother came over.... 6 plus am father came over ... but didn't hear my phone and neither did i hear the door bell... super tired. All in all didn't had a good sleep.

Teachers... Got hope?

Jan 18, 2006

Work work work as usual. Boss not around for 3 days already. So the meeting was shorter than usual. And we resume at 1.30pm sharp on the dot. Went out with Pauline and Janet to Far East to shop shop shop. At around 9pm, i left and went to meet up with dear. He was so late. At 945pm then he reached Outram. By the time we reached the airport is around 2230 when the the plane had already landed at 2210. Managed to see her at around 2315. Hitched a ride and went down to JK to have supper of prata. Yummy. Headed home. Drank beer and chatted till she got tired. Sweet Dreams....

Sorry. Won't be taking pictures at all when she is around. So no photos... Secretive.. shhhh...

My thoughts

As a responsible adult, I am now old enough and wise enough to understand that no one's life is perfect or even normal. Everyone has a past, everyone has issues. Life is waht we make of it. With each and every day, I simply apply myself as best as I can.

I will no longer be affected by childish, selfish, despicable acts against me. Cos i know that there will be a rainbow after the rain. And my baby will understand this when he grows up. Just looking forward to the rainbow.... with my love.

Something heartfelt for Baby

I know our divorce isn't easy, and i am sorry. I truly am. I know school isn't always easy or dealing with other kids, or things you have to face on a daily basis. No offense. but that's life. Everybody has problems. Everyone.

I'm not trying to be a tough peson about this, but no matter what happens to you, it doesn't give you an excuse to blame other or wallow in self pity. Ther are no sets of perfect parents, no one has a perfect life. And as you grow older, maybe you can learn something positive from our mistakes.

In life you're going to make mistakes, you're going to fall down, but it's getting up that counts. But don't quit. Find your focus, relax, take a deep breath and give it a good shot. The things is, a the end of the day you still have to face yourself. I can't do it all for you, but my job as a parent is to make you a responsible, functional, productive adult. I'm not here to raise you as a child, but a happy, caring, nurturing man.

There is nothing you cannot accomplish if you want it bad enough. The choice is yours. Always has been, always will be. Be true to yourself, and you'll be fine.

I will be here all the way supporting and loving you in everyway that i can.... Even when i'm not physically with you, not a single day passes that I don't think about you and pray for you...

My arms will always be wide open for you till my end of time... just remember that.. my baby.

This is my promise to you my love... No matter how things turn ugly between your biological parents.

Jan 17, 2006

Had a surprise call from her. Had a small chat. Mostly about the beads and the domain name. Blah blah blah. After work, met up with Zhilong to have dinner at Upper Serangoon Road. After that, Jason came up to pass me all the notes and books for the up coming semester. Roy came over to let me sign some papers on funds transfer. And received a super outrageous demand....read on to see wat he ask for.. so minor... kaoz... idiot. That is the word to describe him. Anyway, i am looking forward to tomorrow. She is coming back at last. I missed her so much. Chat with Bulney for a while.. always nice talking to him.... sigh... 9 years wasted on an idiot. But a lesson learnt.... never settle for any guy who claims that he has everything when he has nothing .. not even brains... just like this idiot here.

The lawyer's letter:

Our client is to have sole custody care and control of the child of the marriage namely,......... As your client has not had acces to the child of the marriage since September 2005, our client proposes that your client has access to him on Saturdays from 10am to 7pm. Your client is to fetch the child and return him to his residence at 32 Fulton Avenue. Your client is alos to furnish our client with your client's parents' residence address and telephone number. Our client will also require the telephone number of the matrimonial flat.

There shall be no maintenance for your client

neither party shall have any other claim again the other for a share of the assets in the other party's sole name.

Such a loser. No maintenance.. oh ya.. he can't afford it .. that is always wat he says.. when he can afford a gf...oops.. sorry. The gf is upkeeping him as he told me last time. That he was with her just because she gives him money and gives him free sex... that was in the early year. When asked what is he doing with her.. she is not his type. Anyway, he has said before.. he has nothing and a girl who just come and offer these to him. Why not take it for the time being..... seems that he changed his mind again. He can even tell me to help him get the girl back to make her pregnant and then dump her.... oh my gosh. I realised something, when he don't have that gf, he will always come running to me.... now he has his gf... he thinks that he found gold....hmmm....

Anyway, i am glad that he knows that i do not have access... why? When he promised the son so many things when he gets back... and of course the son would wait. And refused to go out with me. And so many things happened the way he planned it to be.... and he wants me to bear full cost.... LOSER. You petition and you still have the cheek to ask me to pay....kaoz..... LOSER. LOSER LOSER Anyway, i can't wait for the divorce to be finalised. Cos i can't wait to be fully rid of an idiot and a loser....

My Baby Raphael

He's afraid to come to me for fear of reprisals against the ones who are looking after him.....

A thought worth pondering

Dear friends, please note his sentences. He stopped me from taking my son by not opening his gate. He condones his son in calling his gf mommy ... He brain washed baby not to talk to me. Of course he can't stop me from talking to baby. But he stopped baby from talking to me. That is why Raphael ignored us all the while when we talked to him. All his sentences are so insinuating and full on underlining meaning and his actions showed Raphael that he can disrespect us and behave in a rude manner towards us... and therefore baby is learning all these bad habits from him through his actions.... all these show how despicable, childish and immature he is.

13/01/2006 17:26:43
My stand still remains firm... I nvr stop u fr talking 2 baby neither will I mention a word 2 him tat u're nt his mummy ... take care

******************************************
Dear Jerome,
Please note:
I will be fetching Raphael on every Friday at 7pm as you have stated in YOUR petition.
Please enable access (open the front gate) to allow me take my son home irregardless of whether he wants to or not.
In the beginning of the year, son also does not want to follow you home and cried everytime after the weekends. But you have taught him that he does not have a choice. So in the end, he always left us with tears in his eyes. Nowadays, it seems that you have taught him another different approach as in he has a choice. I guess you have changed your mind about the values that you are teaching. But a child who is under 16 years old do not have a choice in his life especially those who are under the influence of improper values taught when young.
Please do not use the same excuse everyweek. As my son is still young and do not need unneccessary wrong information to be pass on to him. Eg: I am not his mommy and i am bluffing him.
Thank you for your cooperation.
*********************************************

13/01/2006 12:01:45
My stand is d same.. if raphael dun wanna go wif u, I will nt allow u 2 forcefully take him away...

13/01/2006 11:57:52
Wad time?

Jan 15, 2006

Met up with Diana at 2 plus. Had a drink at seven eleven. Shop Shop Shop.... Diana... definitely not me. Had coffee outside Scotts. Waited for John to finish work. Went Mango and CK Tang. After that, had dinner with John at Mariott buffet... wah.... good food as usual. Ate more than usual. Luckily, John sent both of us home.... Dear was jogging. I went to sleep first as he still has a lot of work to do.

Jan 14, 2006

Saturday. Went down to Tanjong Katong CDAC HQ for briefing. Met Azar there and he gave me a ride home. Changed and headed down to mother house. Played mahjong with her till 5pm and then concussed... so super shacked. Ate dinner with parents. Went down to jurong pasa malam with mother and had a nice time. Waited for him to finish work at chinatown. So bloody crowded there. Difficult to walk... Headed down to Jalan Kayu to have dinner with him and met up with his army mate... chat till 2 plus... then all of us went back.... he went back home to sleep..... lonely me.