Jan 27, 2006

After school, went home, changed and immediately came out again to help Jesslyn. 4 pairs of legs and 3 pairs of hands left me totally shack out. Mother came and look for me at Far East Shopping Center and we went and see Raphael.

Jerome confirm did the brain washing. My son told me that daddy said that i have a lot of bf. And daddy carried him when he was a baby and i threw a cup at him and hit daddy. Saying that i don't love mommy, grandma and gong gong. He no longer talk about the fact that i didn't give him food. He left that out completely.... it seems that his brain is replaced with new information.

And i asked him, why did i do that? Did daddy tell you that he hit mommy, slap mommy and throw mommy against the cupboard? He said no. And jerome said, when did i ever do that? And he turn and ask raphael, do you think daddy will hit mommy??? and son said no. He denied everything that he has done. Kept on saying that i was bluffing and daddy didnt ever hit mommy. And he put all the blame on me, thus brain washing son. He left out all the facts of his actions that resulted in my actions.... And he keep on repeating the things he want raphael to remember.... malicious thinking of his has been instil in my son. Police were called in, had a long chat, the police even gave me his private cell phone number. Cos he said that he can see that the son has been brain washed thoroughly ... and there is little that he can do also. And jerome said that he wants to get married to his gf. Who cares? I don't bother. He can go to hell with his dog for all i care. I am only concern about my son well being. And from what i know, mother in law have this kind of thinking as to not to hit raphael incase he run back to me. This kind of thinking will definitely do lots of damage to my baby....

Baby is so innocent. Get brain washed by his one sided malicious thinking. And baby said that all i say was bluffing, he only believes daddy and ah ma. What a joke! Loser didn't mentioned what makes me walk out on him.... him hitting me. And all his unmanly ways. That is what makes me leave. What right does he have to hit me? TWICE.... once while i was in maternity. And mother in law knows it.. but she chose to say.... don't have in front of the police.. .how vicious.... siding that loser blindly. And she still proclaim to be a faithful buddish and of course.. idiot with his baptism... ways.... claiming that he is a christian. I realised that both of them hide behind their beliefs ... and doing evil things... in the name of God..... May the Lord be merciful to them.

Went to Dhobby Ghaut with mother. Met up with dear, dinesh, albert and Leslie. Chatted with Leslie for a long while.... trying to make me see another point of view in regards to that idiot.

Basically he displayed two main approaches that are open to me as of he moment. One, I could choose to continue status quo and carry on going through whatever I have been subjected to over the past few weeks. Of course, there is a high possibility that the emotional baggage may escalate in future. At the end of the day though, I would have met my objectives. Telling conseqences of what could happen to my son would be that because of the preferrential treatment given to him due to my presence by my in-laws would result in him developing undesirable traits from that family and thus resulting in me wasting all my efforts.

Two, I could choose to walk away and spare myself the heartaches and embark on a new life. Easier said than done. Rational? But then again, human's emotions have never been rational. However, there may be the remote possiblity that perhaps, just perhaps my son will be brought up n a much stricter manner, for his good. Hey, he may even resent the treatment and start thinking of where his mum is... hopefully. But the future is not to be foretold, which MIL always like to call back to Thailand and ask... thus giving her the direction to go in life and the choices to make which guarentee a win win situation for her. Bias.... superstitious... their fate is already paved ... if one can tell the future .... there will be no diasaster in the world already.