Feb 24, 2006

He yelled at my parents and he shouted 'f**k you' to my mother infront of my dad. And my dad tell him that it is wrong, and his face and actions is like wanting to hit us. And he said ' I WILL IF I CAN' and my dad said then you got to hit me first cos they are my family. What do you expect me to do after you scold my wife? And that is your mother in law, your elder. How can you use these words to her? Moreover she is a woman. And he didn't apologise. This shows his how well is his upbringing and what makes it worst that the son is around and the MIL is behind smiling as if her son is doing something glamourous. And when we tell him off with regards on what we say. He kept on clapping his hands in glee. And my dad told him that his actions are really childish and it shows his maturity. And he said we insulted his mother. Excuse me... did he hear what we said? We just said that she threw thirty water at me and curse my mother to be hospitalised, as a devoted buddist as she proclaimed herself to be. How can such words and actions come out from her? And that is insulting?????? Then her cursing and her actions are not insulting? Or should i say he yelled vulgarities at us were not insulting?? How blind can she be? And MIL purposely wet the sitting area at 650pm knowing that we will sit there and wait. My parents saw her came out and wet that area only. And he has threatened to hit us if he can. So violent. My dad even tell him why he behaved like that, so childish, clapping his hands in glee wrt what my mother had said to him. And he told my dad that he was being provoked.. to being the way he is as he is very bad tempered. He admitted it himself that he is bad tempered.... so what? Our problem? eh.... provoked... this word... he has never used it before... someone must have taught him? His english is getting powerful leh... provoke means easily made angry.

Well, one sentence of advice: He can choose to refuse to react to my provocation. But he did not, thus he could hardly restrain himself and his anger with difficulty and therefore made us more vulnerable to his attacks if my dad was not around.

When he asked the son if he told him that this is not your mommy, the son said yes.... and he quickly said that son didnt hear properly his question and he proceeded to ask a few more times emphasizing certain words. That is brain washing in front of us. AND he kept on insisting that i had affairs during the time of our marriage which I DID NOT. He assume and believe that i did. And he seems adamnent that i did. Maybe it is his way of excuse that he hit me.... Son said that i have a lot of bf and gf during my course of marriage and i hit that idiot. Oh.. what facts did he drill into the son? Rubbish to cover his violent and loser ways of his. When ask if daddy has a gf? Son said no..... and he needs to ask his questions a few times before son say mommy. Which is his gf.... what kind of moral values is he showing my son? What kind of lies is he feeding my son?

And he said that i took alot of pictures to post on the net. Is he scared? Did he do something wrong? Then he said that if i am not afraid, why should i keep on shifting my site.... Why? Cos i do not want him to read it. This is my diary online and he is trying to use of my diary against me. Why should i allow it? It is a place where i keep my memories. And he brought up the newspaper stuff again... all thanks to the nasty journalist who sensationalise it to her own advantage. If i really did what the newspaper proclaim me to be doing. I would have been sacked and terminated. Since these are not happening, i can only say that he doesn't know how to read properly and fed his lawyer with lies without confirming the facts. And his monkey is no longer jumping around him nowadays... why? Gotten advise to keep the monkey away for the time being?

Let's put it this way. He has always been insecure with my guy friends. The people that he has accused me of are my childhood friend since primary school and poly days. They are the ones who are always there for me. Now they are still friends of course. When he assume something, he will imagine it to be true... and the scenerio will keep on replaying in his mind till he believes that it had happened. That is the thinking of the loser. And of course, he deny hitting me when i was in my 3rd week of maternity. And when we moved into our matrimonial flat. I gave up when he hit me the 3rd time in the 2 years of marriage. I lost interest in man.... really give up on them. And there he still can say that i have affairs with men????? huh???? i guess i hate men enough to be totally put off for another 2 years which is in 2002 to 2004. He replayed the things that he wanted so much to believe in that he is living a lie... and thus making my son paying for his lies....

You may ask, if is it painful for me? Yes, of course to see my son to go through that kind of family upbringing. But then, Life is too short for me to engage myself in his lies and deceit.

Let it be.... let it be. Just pray hard and God will lead the way.....

Affected by the events. I walked all the way with tears to junction eight. I just need to walk away all my frustrations and sadness. Bought two tops frm Bysi. Retail therapy. Roy came and fetch me back home and i headed to weiping house to destress with Imran. Due to my depression mood, dear was taken for granted.... so sorry. Never meant to make him bear all my problems.....