Thoughts

Had a small pillow talk with him last night. I was telling him about my day and what I did and who I was with. He was calm... he actually didn't ask what did i do during the time he was working. But i volunteered to talk about it.. surprising. If he asked.. i find him restrictive.. when he didn't ask... i feel that he didn't care... confusing thoughts of a woman. So which one is better? I guess the part that he didn't ask would be better. At least, i don't find the questioning repulsive and tends to be repulsive towards the person asking the question.

We chatted about the lifestyle that they have. And about fine dining. Let's see... the last time we both had real fine dining was at clarke quay where we went to one of the party nights and was late for BB photoshoot... it was really quite a long time ago.. last year.... Sigh....

He knows that i will never be contented with him.. cos i want more in life which he cannot provides... but yet i also know that he is capable of finding a better girl than me who came with a past and problems that made me the way i am today... cynical and pessimistic. Then what are we still being together? Does love makes it so blind that although we know what each other wants but yet neither can live up to that standard but still be there for each other? Is it love or is a matter of getting too used to each other? I really wonder....

Read this in Wei's blog:

a good lover might not be a good partner, becos they are fun loving, cheeky n flirty, and such people tends to love their space and fun with people and will not like to be controlled and most times they are also very attractive to others, and might cause insecurity and trust issues... but they are fun n happy to be with, becos of their flamboyant character...

on contrary, a good partner might not be a good lover, becos they take good care of u, they make sure everything is well taken care of, their world probably only surrounds u and they can be very faithful and true but yet becos they are so stable, they tend to be termed as boring to be with... becos of their humble character.

So... ultimately... is wat u want in yr Life... fun or stability.

Like I told another fren of mine, U want a husband material guy as yr bf or some1 that u can feel romantic and fun to be with?

I do not believe theres is a perfect partner out there, it is all got to do with wat u want in yr Life and the matter of compromising to each other.

I agree with what she said. It is a matter of what i want.... why can't i find a partner who is of both... is it so difficult? Is it impossible?
There is no perfect partner.... so why are we settling for second best all the time....

My colleagues would rather i chose someone who has the opposite of what they have .... as they have already chosen their life partners whom they love but yet cannot provide them with what they would love to have. It seems that they can relish their own dreams in my life if i chose the opposite of theirs..... and prove to them that i can be happy....

Is life all about proving to people around me... or it is just my happiness that counts?
I have always thought i knew what i want... but now.... as what dear had said earlier....
paris or batam... which one will i choose?

The one who earn millions and spend a thousand on you
or
The one who earn 2 thousand and spend a thousand on you

Which one will you choose?

single life would be the best when you are young... but when age is catching up.... a lifetime of decisions you have to make.... time is running out.... so what is my choice... single or married?

Anyway... what is love? If you can see yourself caring for the other person if they are paralysed or bed ridden for the rest of your life... that is love? Obligation? sigh.... no idea... wait till the time comes.. and you will know what is love. Will it be too late then? To lost the person.. then realised that you can't live without the person... and to know that that is love...... just like G. Do i need to go through a few times before i learnt my lesson.... Questions that i have no answer to.

The only thing i know is that i am happy for now.... fine dining or not...
I still love him, her, them, I, you, family and friends around me.