Sep 21, 2006 Work

Spoke to Marie today. Kena screwed by her also. She said that i should have expected it when you accepted him back again and again. How about the times when he didn't get caught? How can you be sure? He has been like that ever since you know him. He can do it to Shirley .. of course he can do that to you.... YOu wait and see.. he will do it to this girl also... she is just a substitute.. that's what she said...

Sigh.. i know that rings truth in her words but i hope not. I do not want another girl to be another victim of lies. It is difficult to keep him satisfied in all areas also... But i no longer cares... Cos i know... just because i know it is not my lost... the only area that i am at fault is that i don't give him stability and security. These 2 things will come in time... when one has proven that he is worthy of my trust, worthy of my entrusting my heart and life to him....worthy of my love.

Sigh.. message him about the beads money ... his message was to ask me to check my bank account as he has done the transfer yesterday night. Hostile. Now is his turn to be hostile... hmm.. why? Does he have the right to? I guess not. Cos he is the one at fault now with his lies and 'open relationship' with 2 person while telling her that it is actually over and on the other hand, tell me that he is not with anybody at all.

I re-read my previous diary. It stated clearly that he was asking for time off for 6 months to concentrate on his career... Yes which he obviously did with extras curriculum activities with her every day.

The hurt is gone. I no longer hurt anymore cos i see his lies more clearly. The 3 years that we had was not a relationship. It was only a matter of convenience. It was only a habit. He lived in for 3 years ... both of us making use of each other in certain ways. It was just a habit that i can't get used to having him not being around at home anymore.

That's it....I can't stand the time off thingy... he said the same thing and he did me wrong